released 01 nov 09 / last mod 01 nov 09 / greg goebel / public domain
* At the beginning of MONSTERS VS ALIENS (MVA) -- a Dreamworks computer-animated movie, a sendup of old monster movies, directed by Rob Letterman and Conrad Vernon -- we meet Susan (voiced by Reese Witherspoon), just about ready to get married to Derek (Paul Rudd), romantically oblivious to the fact, clearly apparent to the audience, that Derek is a self-centered jerk. However, a big glowing meteorite falls on her on the church grounds; she isn't particularly injured, but after she tidies and walks up the aisle, her hair turns from black to white while she starts growing until she smashes through the church roof. The military promptly arrives and subdues her, putting her out with an oversized tranquilizer dart.
She wakes up in confinement in a secret installation run by General W.R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland), who informs her that she's become a nonperson, nobody will ever see her again: "This place is an X-file, wrapped in a coverup, and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy." The site is a containment facility, and she quickly becomes friends with her inmates:
Susan -- now named "Ginormica" by the government -- despairs of her dead-end life as a monster, but things start looking up for the jailbirds when the Earth is attached by Gallaxhar, a four-eye tentacled alien with a prissy manner and unpleasant personality: "I come in peace. I mean you no harm. You're all going to die." General Monger promises the monsters freedom if they can defeat the invader, and they set themselves to the task.
* MVA is the kind of movie that one hates to praise too much or too little. There's nothing particularly original about it, the script is unspectacular and predictable, and on reflection it's not exactly overloaded with great gags. However, it is still consistently entertaining: it is well produced and its pacing is so steady that even though it doesn't have the sharpest writing, it is entirely fun from beginning to end, to the point where its ending leaves one wanting more.
It does have its good lines -- "We need our best scientists on this. Somebody call India." -- plus cute little nods to DR. STRANGELOVE and CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND; Stephen Colbert's US president is a particular treat, for example when he tries to communicate with the alien spacecraft and plays ... well, I won't say. Well recommended for people who don't mind silliness. OK for kids, a few mildly off-color jokes and destruction of skyscrapers being the only things that might be an objection.
